Small things can make me happy. It doesn't have to be something that is expensive. Sometimes it is a chickdee landing near me while I am hanging out clothes. They are cute little birds and have little fear of people. Or it might be green grass showing up after a long winter. Or my husband making a meal. It might be a hug from someone I love. All things that make me happy.
Over the past few days I have been totally thrilled every time I walk upstairs and see our new tub sitting up here waiting to go into the yet to be built bathroom. It is one of those walk in tubs with the bubble jets. Something I have thought about getting but the price was always WAY to much. Well, it was still expensive but not as much as usual...and it is time to get a bathroom upstairs so I dont have to keep running downstairs in the middle of the night. It is a wonder I have not fallen yet...another thing that makes me happy. lol
We got a new toilet for downstairs just before we got the new tub. We got one for upstairs too, but the downstairs one is now in and functional. And it WORKS. We had the last one 10 years or so and it never did work right. To flush it you had to hit the handle then follow up with a bucket of water. Now you just hit the handle and walk away. Yep, that makes me very happy!
I remember when we put the windows in the house...We have always done one or two at a time and you can bet I appreciate every one of them. And plug ins. You learn to appreciate being able to plug something in when you have gone for years with only a few places to do so. I will still need more, but those that I have are greatly appreciated.
Walls are another thing I appreciate. I still need more...like the ones for our yet to be built bathroom, but I am sure that when they are done, they will make me very happy for a long time to come.
Does this mean I don't dream and am satisfied just with the things I have? Well, I am satisfied...content with things but I still dream of a day when my house is finished. I want to move ahead, but not at the expense of my happiness and my being content. I am not constantly reaching for "something more" every time I reach a goal. I don't tell myself "I will be happy when..." because I am already happy.
I have seen too many people say "I will be happy when this baby is born" and once it is born "I will be happy when he/she is able to feed him/herself." Then "I will be happy when he/she is out of diapers." And "I will be happy when my child starts kindergarten." Then "I will be happy when the kid can stay home alone sometimes"...and it continues but the person is never actually happy...they are too busy chasing a new period of time when they will be happy...but when it gets here it doesn't actually make them happy.
Decide to be happy NOW. With what you have. Not enough money? Well, there never will be. Be content with what you have. No, it isn't always easy. I know that. There are times I could easily wish for more money so we wouldn't have to worry about our daughter in university. I could wish for more money to finish our house instead of building as we go, but if I did that I doubt I would be happy even when the house is finished. So I will be content with the fact that I am warm and dry in the house I have. And if I never get it finished...well, the Bible has promised that I have a place prepared for me in Heaven. Either way, its a win win situation! :)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
How much more?
I have to wonder how much more one community can take. There are probably less than 150 people living on the small Island where I grew up. In the past 8 months, there have been 10 people who have died. Some were older and it was expected but some were the ones where people say "Oh my goodness! I just saw him/her yesterday and they were telling me how well they were doing!"
Thats exactly what happened yesterday. A guy was in the local store...there is a seat down back for the men to hang out and talk...and a friend of his noticed something was wrong. One side of the guys face was starting to droop. With no clinic/hospital on the Island, he took him home and before he got him inside, he died. :( Another loss. The tenth. This guy was in his mid 60s so he was definately not old. One girl on the Island just lost an uncle 2 weeks ago when he was lost at sea...and now she loses a second uncle so quickly.
In a large community, losing 10 people isn't a huge deal...but a small community like this one...that is almost 1/10th of the population. And the people are so connected. People don't often move onto the Island...it is a very isolated existance, so you know people for all of their or your life. We are talking about an Island that has 3 miles of road. A place that is accessable only by a small, 10 (small) car ferry that runs from 6 am (IF you call and let the captain know you need an "early trip) to 7pm (if you call to request a late trip earlier in the day...wait until later in the day and you are stuck on the larger Island.) Making 6 scheduled trips each day... A place that has no bank, no restaurant, no "nightlife" unless you are talking about the natural night life like bats, raccoons and such.
An Island that has a small Convenience store and a small post office. A school from K to 6 and then the kids are ferried to the larger Island to finish their school years. A place with no RCMP, but make no mistake...if you start causing trouble for people, it WILL be dealt with in one way or another. There is one church-- Baptist. There are no dangerous animals...except humans of course. There are no bears, wolves, coyotes, skunks, porcupines, moose...(there are deer but they are small due to the size of the Island and the need to be small to survive with a small amount of food)
It is a wonderful experience to grow up there feeling safe and secure. It is one of those places were it really does have a whole village raising a child because people do look after each others children. Which is why this hurts so much to lose another person. I grew up knowing each of these 10 people who have died in such a short time. I babysat for some and some of them babysat me. I saw them in church or at the store...or both. I saw them at school functions...got rides with some of them when I was walking somewhere, ate at their houses, slept at their places overnight, played with their children...and have been saying Goodbye way too often lately.
Thats exactly what happened yesterday. A guy was in the local store...there is a seat down back for the men to hang out and talk...and a friend of his noticed something was wrong. One side of the guys face was starting to droop. With no clinic/hospital on the Island, he took him home and before he got him inside, he died. :( Another loss. The tenth. This guy was in his mid 60s so he was definately not old. One girl on the Island just lost an uncle 2 weeks ago when he was lost at sea...and now she loses a second uncle so quickly.
In a large community, losing 10 people isn't a huge deal...but a small community like this one...that is almost 1/10th of the population. And the people are so connected. People don't often move onto the Island...it is a very isolated existance, so you know people for all of their or your life. We are talking about an Island that has 3 miles of road. A place that is accessable only by a small, 10 (small) car ferry that runs from 6 am (IF you call and let the captain know you need an "early trip) to 7pm (if you call to request a late trip earlier in the day...wait until later in the day and you are stuck on the larger Island.) Making 6 scheduled trips each day... A place that has no bank, no restaurant, no "nightlife" unless you are talking about the natural night life like bats, raccoons and such.
An Island that has a small Convenience store and a small post office. A school from K to 6 and then the kids are ferried to the larger Island to finish their school years. A place with no RCMP, but make no mistake...if you start causing trouble for people, it WILL be dealt with in one way or another. There is one church-- Baptist. There are no dangerous animals...except humans of course. There are no bears, wolves, coyotes, skunks, porcupines, moose...(there are deer but they are small due to the size of the Island and the need to be small to survive with a small amount of food)
It is a wonderful experience to grow up there feeling safe and secure. It is one of those places were it really does have a whole village raising a child because people do look after each others children. Which is why this hurts so much to lose another person. I grew up knowing each of these 10 people who have died in such a short time. I babysat for some and some of them babysat me. I saw them in church or at the store...or both. I saw them at school functions...got rides with some of them when I was walking somewhere, ate at their houses, slept at their places overnight, played with their children...and have been saying Goodbye way too often lately.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
One Week Later
It has been one week since the Whole Family went down. I still find myself in tears at times. Tears for the families and tears because my heart feels broken. Wasn't "close" to them but I knew them--grew up with them and their siblings.
The shock and heartache is still so very visible. People still expressing their unbelief of what happened.
For several days my voice has been missing. Just a quiet, raspy voice is all that has been left. I am sure that it is the emotional stress that caused it to leave. It is better today but still rather hoarse and forced.
I haven't gone to White Head. For one thing, with this bit of a cold, I don't need to pass it on to the families. They have enough to deal with right now. I don't know if Sharons youngest, Douglas has gone back to school yet...if he has, I don't know how he is managing. I can't blame him if he hasn't. And I don't know what to say...oh, I know, I don't really need to say anything. They have heard it all and are probably tired of hearing it. Even though many, if not all of them are Christians they probably don't want to hear that the men are in heaven now. They don't need someone telling them that God decided it was their time or whatever other words people are saying. There comes a time when its just time to be quiet...there really is nothing to be said and nothing that will bring comfort.
I pray often for the families...that God will heal their broken hearts and will work through this for His good.
The shock and heartache is still so very visible. People still expressing their unbelief of what happened.
For several days my voice has been missing. Just a quiet, raspy voice is all that has been left. I am sure that it is the emotional stress that caused it to leave. It is better today but still rather hoarse and forced.
I haven't gone to White Head. For one thing, with this bit of a cold, I don't need to pass it on to the families. They have enough to deal with right now. I don't know if Sharons youngest, Douglas has gone back to school yet...if he has, I don't know how he is managing. I can't blame him if he hasn't. And I don't know what to say...oh, I know, I don't really need to say anything. They have heard it all and are probably tired of hearing it. Even though many, if not all of them are Christians they probably don't want to hear that the men are in heaven now. They don't need someone telling them that God decided it was their time or whatever other words people are saying. There comes a time when its just time to be quiet...there really is nothing to be said and nothing that will bring comfort.
I pray often for the families...that God will heal their broken hearts and will work through this for His good.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Such sadness
I can't stop crying today. I try and dry the tears and before I can get then all wiped away, I start again.
They called off the search for Harold and Cory Cossaboom. I have heard rumors that they found the boat, other rumors that they found an oil slick but have not yet actually found the boat. Either way...Its been 2 nights and search has come up with debris that was identified as belonging to the "Whole Family".
Harold is my brother, Roberts, age. Older than me by 4 years. Cory is several years younger than I am. We grew up on the same little Island of White Head. With a population of no more than 150, it is safe to say that everyone knew everyone. Kids certainly had little choice in picking a friend of the same age as you were lucky to find 3 or 4 kids the same age as you.
As far as Harold went, he was lucky to have several guys his age. Robert, Mackie, Jamie, Mark and for a time, Scott...Scott moved off of White Head after a few years. Generally, if you heard the name Harold, the names Mark and Jamie followed closely behind. The three were like brothers. They hung out together a lot.
One of my first memories of Cory is holding him in my arms when he was a baby. His blue eyes were huge. Almost mesmerising. He was born with a cleft palate, and while I remember seeing the way his lips were different from other peoples, I don't remember that it mattered. He was such a sweet little boy.
So many memories are flowing through my mind right now...I can't possibly type them all. How can I possibly write about our childhoods and the memories when so few people can truly understand the tight knit community of White Head? I don't think the words are there for me to explain because it is something you have to experience.
I am sure that both of these men were Christians. Cory was so active in the Church. His speech was difficult to understand but he was willing to repeat himself so he could be understood. He was often first to offer a hand at anything that needed to be done. Harold was more in the background, but I do believe he was a born again believer.
I have reminded myself time and again that the second these men left this earth, they were safe with Jesus where there is no more sorrow or pain. Yet it doesn't stop the heartache here on this earth. I think of Harolds wife and children. Of his mom and sisters and the sisters children. I think of Corys mom. The young woman he was supposed to marry this summer, his sister and her children. Cory just lost his dad less than 6 months ago. His mom lost her husband and her son in such a short time. How do you cope with such pain?
The Island is in mourning. Of this I am sure. Yes, life will continue on, but many hearts are aching for the loss of these men and for their families.
They called off the search for Harold and Cory Cossaboom. I have heard rumors that they found the boat, other rumors that they found an oil slick but have not yet actually found the boat. Either way...Its been 2 nights and search has come up with debris that was identified as belonging to the "Whole Family".
Harold is my brother, Roberts, age. Older than me by 4 years. Cory is several years younger than I am. We grew up on the same little Island of White Head. With a population of no more than 150, it is safe to say that everyone knew everyone. Kids certainly had little choice in picking a friend of the same age as you were lucky to find 3 or 4 kids the same age as you.
As far as Harold went, he was lucky to have several guys his age. Robert, Mackie, Jamie, Mark and for a time, Scott...Scott moved off of White Head after a few years. Generally, if you heard the name Harold, the names Mark and Jamie followed closely behind. The three were like brothers. They hung out together a lot.
One of my first memories of Cory is holding him in my arms when he was a baby. His blue eyes were huge. Almost mesmerising. He was born with a cleft palate, and while I remember seeing the way his lips were different from other peoples, I don't remember that it mattered. He was such a sweet little boy.
So many memories are flowing through my mind right now...I can't possibly type them all. How can I possibly write about our childhoods and the memories when so few people can truly understand the tight knit community of White Head? I don't think the words are there for me to explain because it is something you have to experience.
I am sure that both of these men were Christians. Cory was so active in the Church. His speech was difficult to understand but he was willing to repeat himself so he could be understood. He was often first to offer a hand at anything that needed to be done. Harold was more in the background, but I do believe he was a born again believer.
I have reminded myself time and again that the second these men left this earth, they were safe with Jesus where there is no more sorrow or pain. Yet it doesn't stop the heartache here on this earth. I think of Harolds wife and children. Of his mom and sisters and the sisters children. I think of Corys mom. The young woman he was supposed to marry this summer, his sister and her children. Cory just lost his dad less than 6 months ago. His mom lost her husband and her son in such a short time. How do you cope with such pain?
The Island is in mourning. Of this I am sure. Yes, life will continue on, but many hearts are aching for the loss of these men and for their families.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Losing friends/relatives
I come from a small Island. Population of about 150. Lived there unti I was 20 and got married. Then moved to a bigger Island with about 2700. The population has dropped in the past few years to about 2400..give or take a few.
This past year 7 people on the Little Island have died, if I have remembered correctly. Basically, every family on the small Island has been touched by at least one of these deaths. If not a relative, then a friend. In some families they lost more than one. All of these people were older and some had been sick for quite some time before they died. Doesn't make it any easier.
Since November there has been about 7 deaths here on the bigger Island. All older people...again, doesn't make it any easier.
Last year there were few deaths on either Island. "They" say deaths come in 3s. Not sure who "they" are, but I think they are wrong, anyway. Threes have nothing to do with it.
As a kid I don't remember may deaths. Just a few that touched me. One was a little boy who got hit by a car. I don't know why mom took me to the church for visitation. I wasn't much older than that little boy...he was probably 2 or 3. I might have been 5. I remember seeing the bruises on his little face. It really stood out in my mind. The only other death I remember as a child was my grandfather. I was around 12 when we lost him. It was quite sudden and shocking.
I guess as we get older we become more aware of death. Then again, tragic deaths have surrounded this Island at times. Right off the top of my head I can think of 8 deaths due to drinking...7 of them drinking and driving and that is without even thinking about it! I am talking kids here. Teenagers. One died graduation night. Two boys within a year of each other. Alcohol was involved in both...and they were brothers. :( How heartbreaking is that?
Then there have been the drownings. It isn't surprising fishing is a large industry here. Two friends that I went to school with have drowned. Also a cousin.
Part of the awareness of deaths is probably the fact that, as little kids our worlds aren't very big. And as we get older, that world expands to people we meet in school, then at work and in our every day lives. Often when someone dies we hear "But I was just talking to them last week! (or last month...or yesterday...)" No matter if it is expected or not, death takes us by surprise. We are never ready for it.
I do believe that people who are dying are often prepared. I know that both of my grandmothers accepted death and waited for it. I don't believe either of them were afraid. I am not sure about my grandfather who died when I was younger. I don't think he was prepared because it was sudden. And my maternal grandfather...Altzheimers took his mind long before his body gave up. I wonder if he has alert times that no one knows about. It sure didn't seem like it at the end of his life. It was heartbreaking to watch his mind leave him while his body was still rather healthy.
I don't have any life lessons here or any real point to this post. Death is just something that has happened so often lately that it was just on my mind. I do hope that when I come to the end of my life I can look back and know I have done my best. That I have loved all I could love and been loved by those I have been in contact with. That I have taught people how to live by living a full life. So far, I think I am doing a pretty good job.
This past year 7 people on the Little Island have died, if I have remembered correctly. Basically, every family on the small Island has been touched by at least one of these deaths. If not a relative, then a friend. In some families they lost more than one. All of these people were older and some had been sick for quite some time before they died. Doesn't make it any easier.
Since November there has been about 7 deaths here on the bigger Island. All older people...again, doesn't make it any easier.
Last year there were few deaths on either Island. "They" say deaths come in 3s. Not sure who "they" are, but I think they are wrong, anyway. Threes have nothing to do with it.
As a kid I don't remember may deaths. Just a few that touched me. One was a little boy who got hit by a car. I don't know why mom took me to the church for visitation. I wasn't much older than that little boy...he was probably 2 or 3. I might have been 5. I remember seeing the bruises on his little face. It really stood out in my mind. The only other death I remember as a child was my grandfather. I was around 12 when we lost him. It was quite sudden and shocking.
I guess as we get older we become more aware of death. Then again, tragic deaths have surrounded this Island at times. Right off the top of my head I can think of 8 deaths due to drinking...7 of them drinking and driving and that is without even thinking about it! I am talking kids here. Teenagers. One died graduation night. Two boys within a year of each other. Alcohol was involved in both...and they were brothers. :( How heartbreaking is that?
Then there have been the drownings. It isn't surprising fishing is a large industry here. Two friends that I went to school with have drowned. Also a cousin.
Part of the awareness of deaths is probably the fact that, as little kids our worlds aren't very big. And as we get older, that world expands to people we meet in school, then at work and in our every day lives. Often when someone dies we hear "But I was just talking to them last week! (or last month...or yesterday...)" No matter if it is expected or not, death takes us by surprise. We are never ready for it.
I do believe that people who are dying are often prepared. I know that both of my grandmothers accepted death and waited for it. I don't believe either of them were afraid. I am not sure about my grandfather who died when I was younger. I don't think he was prepared because it was sudden. And my maternal grandfather...Altzheimers took his mind long before his body gave up. I wonder if he has alert times that no one knows about. It sure didn't seem like it at the end of his life. It was heartbreaking to watch his mind leave him while his body was still rather healthy.
I don't have any life lessons here or any real point to this post. Death is just something that has happened so often lately that it was just on my mind. I do hope that when I come to the end of my life I can look back and know I have done my best. That I have loved all I could love and been loved by those I have been in contact with. That I have taught people how to live by living a full life. So far, I think I am doing a pretty good job.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
Wow! I guess, just like everyone else, I am wondering where the year has gone. Some look back at the passing of 2009 with sadness and others are glad to see it go. I guess I feel a bit of both. Since I can't go back in time, I say goodbye to the old year and look forward to the new. It was a busy year. Sam moved home in February. It was a difficult time for her...for all of us. And I cannot say I am sorry to have that time behind us.
In September Sam was off to University on the mainland. October saw Bryen moving out and into her own apartment. I miss them both. The house is once again quiet where, for awhile, it was lively with young people coming and going through the day. Sometimes I enjoy the quiet but I really miss the noise, too. As much as I miss them, I will be content knowing that I have raised two happy, healthy young women.
Christmas was wonderful this year. Robert brought his girlfriend, Brenda, to Christmas dinner. Unfortunately her daughter, Abby, couldn't make it as she was with her dad. Zach, my nephew brought his girlfriend, Josie. Both fit well into our family.
Christmas dinner was at the senior citizens apartments where my parents live. My mom had asked for the big room and it was perfect for our group of 15. Plenty of seating and room to relax after dinner. We cooked some of the stuff in the kitchen off of the big room and clean up was a snap in there.
We didn't do the usual Christmas day run around. After leaving the apartments, we went to Alen and Lindas for a little bit and then came home. The next day we went to Rebeccas and Colins and then to Josephs parents for a short visit. Even then, we didn't do a huge amount of running around.
Today we are having a New Years dinner here at home. Bryen plans on coming and bringing her friend Megan. Samantha is still home...Until Monday when we take her back to University.
It is snowing outside. Just right for a quiet day at home. :)
In September Sam was off to University on the mainland. October saw Bryen moving out and into her own apartment. I miss them both. The house is once again quiet where, for awhile, it was lively with young people coming and going through the day. Sometimes I enjoy the quiet but I really miss the noise, too. As much as I miss them, I will be content knowing that I have raised two happy, healthy young women.
Christmas was wonderful this year. Robert brought his girlfriend, Brenda, to Christmas dinner. Unfortunately her daughter, Abby, couldn't make it as she was with her dad. Zach, my nephew brought his girlfriend, Josie. Both fit well into our family.
Christmas dinner was at the senior citizens apartments where my parents live. My mom had asked for the big room and it was perfect for our group of 15. Plenty of seating and room to relax after dinner. We cooked some of the stuff in the kitchen off of the big room and clean up was a snap in there.
We didn't do the usual Christmas day run around. After leaving the apartments, we went to Alen and Lindas for a little bit and then came home. The next day we went to Rebeccas and Colins and then to Josephs parents for a short visit. Even then, we didn't do a huge amount of running around.
Today we are having a New Years dinner here at home. Bryen plans on coming and bringing her friend Megan. Samantha is still home...Until Monday when we take her back to University.
It is snowing outside. Just right for a quiet day at home. :)
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