Children-grand children.

I have a step-grand baby...well, really a toddler/little boy, but still he is my grand baby and maybe the only one I will ever have.  My oldest, Sam,  doesn't want kids and has several good reasons for her decision.  My youngest doesn't want kids of her own.  She is not a "baby person"...neither of my girls are for whatever reason and I respect that.  

My youngest, Bryen, went into her marriage with her eyes wide open.  She knew she would have a stepson and she was ok with that.  Unfortunately, due to someones meddling, the baby's mom was led to believe that Bryen hates babies and wanted nothing to do with the little guy.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  She doesn't want to have children, but is perfectly ok with this little guy...and since the mom finally started giving her a chance, Bryen and her husband, Claude, have had the chance to get to know Sky who is a very loving little boy.

He doesn't talk much yet.  He CAN talk, he just chooses to make noises instead.  I am sure this kid could charm crows out of the trees because he can sound exactly like a crow, along with many other sounds.  And his laugh is contagious.  When he laughs, you can't help but laugh with him.  

He is far from perfect and can throw a temper tantrum with the best when he is tired.  But so can most.  And even then, in full tantrum, I can be serious and let him know I am not going to put up with it, but at the same time, I can laugh because it isn't a big deal anymore.  I guess that goes along with being older when you are dealing with kids.  It was harder to deal with a tantrum when I was younger.

Now, many people tell me "Oh, your girls might change their minds, they are just young yet."  Yes, that is true, but they are also 25 and 27.  Old enough to know their own minds and if they choose to not have children, then I don't think it is fair for me to hold onto hope that they will change their minds.  I would LOVE to have more grandchildren.  But I refuse to pressure them and hoping that someday they will change their minds may put pressure on them without me realizing it.  Would they love their own child?  I am sure of it.  But if they don't want kids, then I hope they never have one.  

The world is changing.  The girls and I talk about it often.  Parents thrown in jail for disciplining their child.  Not beating or abusing, just swatting the child on the butt for bad behaviour...someone sees it and the parent ends up in jail.  Yes, it has happened here in Canada.  :/  Kids have a "You can't touch me" attitude as they are told from early age that parents can't touch them.  Bryen and I have talked about genetically modified foods.  It is in the news now...and the more you learn about them, the scarier it gets.  They don't have to be labeled, they ARE on the market and we aren't being informed.  We talk about chemicals in foods that make children mature MUCH faster than they should.  We talk about wars and pollution and all that sort of thing and that is another reason she doesn't want a child...she doesn't want to bring kids into a world that seems to be falling apart at an ever increasing rate.  I cannot fault her for that.  

Once in awhile I feel a pang of regret that I will never have blood grandchildren to snuggle and spoil but then I look at all the things I have to be thankful for.  My children are happy and healthy.  They know what they want in life.  We have a very good relationship and they can talk to their father and I about pretty well anything.  I refuse to wish for MORE when I have so much already.

A couple of months ago someone noticed that Shipley was "tucking" his hind end as if he was in pain.  I hadn't really noticed but after that, I started paying attention and realized that his hind end was generally "tucked under" as if something hurt him.  He wasn't running like he used to although he had never run very fast and he preferred to play while laying down.  Then one day he tried to jump over a small brick wall that was less than a foot in height.  His front end made it...his hips hit the bricks quite hard.  He did not fuss or even yip but it was obvious it hurt him and he spent the rest of his play time laying down, trying not to use his hind legs.  I called a vet and made an appointment.

A few days later we were off to the vet.  The results broke my heart.  After manipulating his knees, and almost getting "punched" in the face (She hurt him, so Shipley tried to hit her in the face with her nose.  His mouth was closed but she kind of accused him of trying to bite.  She didn't actually say it, but her words suggested that he tried to bite.), the vet decided to put him under and do some x-rays.  The results:  Cruciate disease and Luxating Patellas.  In other words, his tendons in his hind legs were badly torn and his knee caps were snapping off to the side due to not being seated right.  While some of this might be chalked up to his breed, most of it would probably come from being locked up in that little 5x5 room for the first 6 months of his life.  :(  (After that vet manipulated his legs, the left one started making "clunking" noises when he walked.  Not clicks but actual clunks!  I think that when she manipulated it, she tore the last bit of tendon that had been holding the bones together.  I will NEVER go back to that vet clinic due to that and the way we were treated)

The vet told us we would have to take him to a different province and the cost of the surgery (called TPLO) for each leg would be in excess of $5000...not counting travel and room.  I was devastated and very close to tears.  We don't have that kind of money.  We were given NO options...this was the ONLY thing they said would help him.  I wondered if my pup would have to be put down...and then I thought "No".  I would not put my pup down.  If I couldn't afford the surgery, I would surrender him to the rescue I got him from if I had to...they often fix animals that are in need like my pup was/is.  But first, I started sending messages to vet friends letting them know what was going on.  I included the vet, Shannon, who runs the rescue where I got Shipley.  Over the next few days the messages flew back and forth between us.  I got the vet hospital where I got the x-rays done to send the films and notes to Shannon.  She and another vet believed a different type of surgery could be done.  If she hadn't, we were considering a wheelchair for him.

We agreed to try this other, cheaper, surgery which consisted of putting the equivalent of 3 pieces of 80 lb test fishing line in his legs (along with hardware to hold it there, and deepening the "v" where his kneecap was supposed to sit so it wouldn't keep snapping out.  A couple of weeks later, we were off for surgery.  Thankfully we had friends we could stay with while off the Island.

Shannon went in on her afternoon off to do the surgery!  That is dedication.  Four hours (or so) later, surgery was done on his left leg.  Oh, my heart ached for my puppy when he woke up in so much pain.  I knew he was going to feel better after a few days, but how do you explain that to a dog?  All we could do was sit on the floor, pat and talk to him and try to keep him calm.  Joseph was determined to sleep in the clinic overnight, on the floor, with no blankets, so he could be with the pup.  I talked him out of it since Shipley would be sedated anyway.  We left but were back early the next morning to see him.  The pain was less but it would be awhile before he walked on it.  Already his range of moment was more than it had been as he was holding his hind leg way up, close to his body.  Further than he had been able to hold it up before.  We headed home later that morning.

Ten days later, I took a video of Shipley walking slowly down the driveway on a leash.  He limped badly but he was doing well.  Now, almost 2 months after surgery, he puts plenty of pressure on the left leg.  Thankfully his right leg isn't as bad.  It gets tired while walking (only 17 or 18 minutes twice a day) but not horrible pain.  We are trying to build up some muscle in his hind end...very slow going.  Especially when I am trying to work, my dad had another heart surgery that had me away from home for a week and it has been raining so much this summer.  *sigh*  But we keep trying.  

Shipley still lays down most of the time to play.  He may always do that.  But it is obvious the pain is MUCH less.  We moved our bedroom into the basement (partially finished, so we have bathroom, bedrooms, kitchen, laundry, living room all downstairs) so Shipley doesn't have to climb stairs.  Hopefully by Christmas he will be able to do steps again.  

In another month or so, we will get the second surgery done...hopefully taking care of the remainder of the pain.